Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Boulevard of broken dreams...

I walk alone in a dark street.Everything looks like wraped up under a tarred masque..
Trees look frightening under their screaming nude cavity.Their helplessly upwards extending branches look like praying to s.t or s.w undefined,unknown,unseen.
Countless clouds rushing in a restless sky giving you the idea of an ambushing volcano.
I keep on walking faster & faster just to redeem myself from this asmathic atmosphere , but I'm abruptly stopped by a thick wall coming accross so unexpectedly , I can't help striking it:(
I turn my face and have a glance at it..I'm stunned to see it's full of pictures..Different images of me and my life fragments float in front of my eyes .Each one with its own regrets and sadness..Each one leaving its painful traces ..Each one bloodly ripping off my heart ..
I notice mislaid faces, forgotten moments,suppressed disappointments, hidden emotions and innefable sanguine expectations as well ; never realised expectations...
It's weird to face with all of these sentiments this way...It's sad to see how all of them turned into barren hopes...Nothing is prolonged as much as this exhausting melancholy fettle..
- I ate an apple today , and there was no worm in it..I wish it were..At least that would be some change or would bring some new waves in the sea of boredom.But this doesn't seem possible!Vacuum forever!
This exploring promenade in the underground city of my soul tired me to death..I need some elevator to lift me up!For I wanna visit another boulevard right now!

p.s: per perkthimin shqip shihni tek komentet te dashur shqipfoles!

14 comments:

eni said...

Bulevardi i endrrave te thyera!

E vetmuar eci ne nje rruge te erret.Çdo gje duket si e rrethuar me nje maske prej katrani.Pemet duken te frikshme nen boshllekun e lakuriqte ulerites …Deget e tyre te sterzgjatura deshperueshem lart , duken sikur i luten diçkaje apo nje vendi qe ato nuk e percaktojne , nuk e njohin, nuk e shohin..Re te panumerta turren nen nje qiell te shqetesuar qe te krijon pershtypjen e nje vullkani kurthberes.
Vazhdoj te eci dhe me shpejt per ta çliruar veten time nga kjo atmosfere astmatike por befas ndalohem vrazhde nga nje mur i trashe qe me shfaqet aq papritur perpara saqe nuk i shpetoj dot perplasjes
Kthej koken per ti hedhur nje sy ...Ç’meritem kur shoh se eshte i mbushur plot me fotografi..
Imazhe te ndryshme te miat dhe jetes time me kalojne perpara syve..Secili me pishmanlleqet dhe trishtimin e tij.Secili duke lene gjurmet e tija te dhimbshme.Secili duke me rrjepur pergjakshem zemren..
Ve re fytyra te perhumbura, momente te harruara, zhgenjime te shtypura,emocione te fshehura,por dhe pritje pashpjegueshmerisht shpreseplota , pritje keto ,asnjehere te realizuara.
Eshte e çuditshme te shohesh ndjesi te tilla ne kete forme..Eshte e trishtueshme te shohesh sesi u kthyen te tera ne shpresa te shterpezuara..Asgje nuk sterzgjatet me shume sesa kjo gjendje rraskapitese melankolie…
-Sot hengra nje molle dhe nuk gjeta as edhe nje krimb ne te..Te pakten te kisha gjetur!Te pakten ky do ishte nje ndryshim ose nje dallge e re ne detin e bezdise..Por kjo nuk duket e mundur!Vakum i perhershem!
Me lodhi per vdekje kjo shetitje kerkuese ne qytetin e nendheshem te shpirtit tim.Kam nevoje per nje ashensor qe t’me ngreje lart!Sepse dua te vizitoj nje bulevard tjeter tashme!!!

akull-naja said...

Sot hengra nje molle dhe nuk gjeta as edhe nje krimb ne te..Te pakten te kisha gjetur!Te pakten ky do ishte nje ndryshim ose nje dallge e re ne detin e bezdise..Por kjo nuk duket e mundur!Vakum i perhershem!

Eni, ne jemi ne levizje, dhe ne ditet kur s'gjejme as krimb per te prishur monotonine e dites... ndihem njelloj nganjehere... po ca dite me mbrapa e harroj komplet... s'di ti, por te une eshte shume ciklik si proces, vjen e iken me valet e hormoneve...:)

Dite te vizllueshme!

eni said...

do vdes une per keto vizellimet e tua..rrofsh e dashur:)

ET said...

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.
Bertrand Russell
-------------------------------------
Eni, hudhu !
ps: vetem lovja ta gje krymin:)

eni said...

et: :) i madh je:)me shkrive

ELAIS said...

pritje pashpjegueshmerisht shpreseplota

- po te mos bartnin shprese nuk do te ishin pritje. Do u ishte hequr viza per t'u zevendesuar me dicka tjeter me shpresedhenese.

akull-naja said...

Mire e ka e.T, jo vetem ia gjen krimbin, po e ha dhe s'e ve re fare...:D

Emigrant said...

Pjesen e preferuar ma mori akull-naja nga goja. Si pune e Tetenes te ajo tema tjeter; do rroje me shume. Hallall asaj, hallall dhe ty, Eni!

@ eT: :-P :-P ("ma le krym" i thojshin nje here vaktit...)

eni said...

flm shume çuna e goca per komentet shume te lezetshme:)

E vizllushmja said...

Faleminderit! Me pelqeka keq fare...:))))
p.s. faleminderit dhe per komentet te peshku. Jam "flattered".:)

eni said...

m'pelqeu qe t'pelqeka..sa per shkrimet te peshku : you're so very wellcomed:)

klodiana said...

such beautiful imagery, eni! so lyrical.

eni said...

thanks girl;)

belle_fleur said...

"vakum i perhershem"....eshte e cuditshme qe te gjithe kalojme momente te tilla dhe na duket sikur jemi te mbeshtjelle nga nje re trishtimi dhe merzitje, dhe mezi presim ta hedhim sa me larg vetes tone kete ndjesi jo aq te dashur per shpirtin tone te lodhur....

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